We’ve all been there right? Only three weeks in and I’m sure all of us, including the freshers, have sat in those seminars acting like it’s your GCSE drama exam to not let anyone know you’ve got absolutely no clue what’s going on.
If it hasn’t happened to you yet, if you’ve been miraculously more organised than your peers and ticked the reading off before walking into that seminar room, I’ve got some bad news for you…It will happen.
At some point, you will be the one sitting there wordlessly nodding along to what sounds like gibberish. There’s simply no escaping it. So I’d advise that everyone should read this guide on how to seamlessly get away with your own disorganisation. A tried and true method of pretending you’ve done the reading is some strategic nodding.
Of course, you cannot contribute to the seminar, you’re stuck there with no idea what’s going on and no knowledge of the text, but some small and subtle contribution will ward people off the scent of your cluelessness. I advise you to listen carefully, attempt to understand the points your peers or tutor are making, and pick the right time to nod in agreement.
The possibility of this may depend on your subject but it is always best to pick one viewpoint or opinion and pretend like you also hold it. Therefore, whenever this viewpoint is expressed, nod at the person expressing it, this will deceive them into believing that not only have you done the reading but you have thought over it enough to form a strong opinion.
However, you must remember not to overdo it, you don’t want to sit there like a bobblehead for the entire hour, you’ll appear both clueless and crazy. You should instead come across as a quiet but active member of the seminar.
Following on from my last tip, this is where the trickier but, if done right, incredibly effective strategic shake comes in. If someone expresses a viewpoint that opposes the one you are pretending to hold, you should give a small and slow shake of the head. It is important that you do not shake too much or too forcefully, it will come across not only as rude but as overacting and then people may become suspicious.
Each shake must be strategic and well thought out. With practice, and I’m sure you’ll have lots, this method can be mastered quickly. For the few people in that seminar who have done the reading, the discussion will be one of interest and may trigger academic thought. Therefore, to effectively pretend to have done the reading you must come across as intrigued, perhaps even inspired by the content. I strongly advise practicing this in the mirror before the seminar.
You haven’t done the reading, so really, it’s the least you can do. The look must be subtle. I recommend pointing your gaze toward the floor or the laptop in front of you, perhaps placing a hand on the chin or propping a foot upon your knee. This will give you a look of thoughtfulness and to your peers and seminar tutor, you should come across as engrossed in the discussion.
To really hammer the point home, after sitting in your ‘thoughtful pose’ for a while, you could write some dummy notes. You’ll seem too engrossed to contribute, creating a mask of intelligence. I hope this short guide comes in handy the next time you sacrifice the possibility of getting a first for the possibility of getting a YOLO ticket!