Misogyny can be seen everywhere in society in a multitude of different ways. From “mansplaining” to catcalling, it is safe to assume that most women living in the 21st century have experienced the horrors of chauvinist behaviour. As well as these unfortunately common types of misogyny, I have noticed another type which seems to be going largely unnoticed.
Let me set the scene: it’s a Friday night and you’re going out with the girls. Following pres and copious amounts of alcohol, you head to Misfits. Once you’re in, a man is standing in your way, blocking your path to the dancefloor. You tap him on the shoulder and politely ask him to move out of the way, and in response he glances over his shoulder and stares right through you, like you’re not even there. Seeing this, your female friend intervenes, and as soon as he sets eyes on her, he’s ready to listen, even going as far to create a path for you to pass. Why does he listen to her and not you? His reaction is obviously influenced by factors such as appearance, perceived social status, or even unconscious biases about who “deserves” attention. This type of selective acknowledgment is rooted in misogyny, and demonstrates ingrained biases about which women are worth listening to. He finds her attractive, and, therefore, she deserves his respect, whether he is trying to get lucky or not. It’s not your friend’s fault, but interactions like these create needless competition between women, and you inevitably begin to compare yourself to her. You question if you’re too fat or too thin and if you’re wearing too much makeup or not enough. Is your outfit the defining factor? Or is it your height? Situations like this example happen everywhere and it is becoming increasingly hard for me to ignore. To the men reading this article and thinking to themselves that the only reason I am writing this is because I’m unattractive and bitter about the lack of male attention I receive, this could not be further from the truth. The reason I am writing this is because this behaviour is disgusting to both experience and witness, and I feel it should be exposed for what it is: thinly veiled misogyny. So, next time you’re out with the boys and you notice that you or your mates are treating a girl disrespectfully or differently to the women around her because she does not fit your definition of the current beauty standard, seriously consider the harmful nature of the behaviour you are perpetuating.