Warning: This review contains spoilers!
Gladiator II was easily one of the most anticipated films of the year. Starring Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal, the reprisal of the Gladiator franchise seemed to promise all the glory and spectacle of the first film. It is unfortunate to say that I found this could not be further from the case. The most standout failure of the film is the terrible CGI. At moments where Paul Mescal canters through Rome dramatically, or declares to troves of soldiers that no more blood should be shed, the only thing I could focus on was how awful the CGI was behind him. If I’d wanted to see someone gesture vaguely at a greenscreen, I would’ve turned on the weather report.
Not even to mention the incredibly random choice to have Mescal fight some indistinguishable CGI monkey-hyaena-baboon creatures. Did the Gladiators not fight lions? Bears? Surely there were plenty of animals they could have used before resorting to the invention of some Hunger Games-esque creature.
My favourite, and by far the most ridiculous, moment of the film was after the beheading of Joseph Quinn’s character, Emperor Geta. Macrinus (Denzel Washington) pulls the severed head of Emperor Geta from a bag, and slams it onto a podium, dramatically declaring his murder. The camera pans around the room of shocked Romans, and cuts to a close up of the severed head. A severed head that categorically bears no resemblance to Joseph Quinn whatsoever. I hate to say that I started laughing at such a dramatic moment of the film, but every time the camera returned to the head, I simply could not contain myself. If the props department hadn’t plopped a ginger wig and some shocking eyeshadow on to this head, you would have absolutely no idea who it was supposed to represent.
I began to wonder whether the film was paying tribute to The Hunger Games. Matt Lucas (who I simply cannot see without picturing Great British Bake Off) repeatedly appears as a rip-off Caesar Flickerman character. Unfortunately, he announces the gladiators’ tournament with none of the panache of Stanley Tucci. Furthermore, for one round of the tournament the gladiators walk up the steps to the arena, and are shocked to find it full of water and sharks (Catching Fire anyone?). When you put all of these elements side by side, it sounds rather like a Gladiator-themed Hunger Games film.
I feel that I should note that Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal’s performances were both great. Though Mescal’s English accent bore an uncanny similarity to Harry Styles’ speaking voice, the acting of both men was far and away the best part of this film. It rather felt like these two great actors were tied to a sinking ship, weighed down by severed heads, CGI, and far too many monkeys.