“If I’m so strong, why am I broken?” sings Rebecca Lucy Taylor, better known as Self Esteem, on “I Do And I Don’t Care”, a standout from her third album A Complicated Woman. There’s a spoken-word section on this song reminiscent of her smash hit “I Do This All The Time”, from her critically acclaimed last album Prioritise Pleasure, which garnered a Brit award nomination and a Mercury Music Prize. She says: “Is this really all there is? This really is all there is.” It’s unclear whether she is talking to the listener or herself. Self Esteem’s essence is really in her name. In the first single “Focus is Power”, released in January, a female choir belts the punchy line: “I deserve to be here”, alluding to that all-familiar feeling of imposter syndrome, and “my focus is powerful” giving it an anthemic quality.
The album almost oscillates between a gospel sound and music you’d hear in a club, and this is demonstrated on the next track “Mother”, where we hear a complete juxtaposition, with an electronic club-like sound, hearing only Taylor’s voice. She expresses frustrations about “mothering” a partner, including the hilarious lyric “There is other literature outside of The Catcher in the Rye”. If I could say anything about Rebecca Lucy Taylor, it’s that she’s always unabashedly herself.
In the second single released in March, “If Not Now, It’s Soon” there is a section by Julie Hasmondhalgh (of Coronation Street fame) who delivers a striking line of spoken word: “Something will happen because it’s got to / it’s not just perseverance we need, it’s patience.” This continues the uplifting and powerful tone of the album. This is unequivocally her most honest album to date, and Taylor described the process of creating it as “horrible, lonely, and painful” in an interview with Mark Savage for the BBC. “The Curse” is probably my favourite moment on the album, alluding to her relationship with alcohol, with the crushingly painful lyric “If I’m sober or drunk / It’s still me in the middle of the problem”. Ultimately, the overarching message is a hopeful one: “you know what? I might try today” she and her choir sing on the album’s closer “The Deep Blue Okay”. She hasn’t just made an album, she’s created a theatrical experience with a week-long residency at London’s Duke of York Theatre, with Madonna among the list of attendees. This album feels incredibly personal, relatable, and true to Rebecca Lucy Taylor’s spirit, demonstrates that she’s the only woman in the music industry doing what she’s doing right now.
With wit, strength, and unapologetic confidence, Self Esteem once again proves that vulnerability isn’t a weakness, it’s her greatest asset. A Complicated Woman is more than an album.